there have been some noteworthy events this week that i feel the need to vent about, and now that i have an outlet, i thought i'd indulge. in fact, most weeks i have things to vent about, so i may make this a regular Friday feature. yippee. this week's topics:judith regan sucks we all know OJ Simpson is a pathetic excuse for a human being, which begs the question why are we still aware of his existence? apparently it's because publisher-from-hell Regan needed a smarm fix real bad and decided to publish the most inane "book" since - well, really, since Ann Coulter's anti-widow tirade last summer, but anyway, my point is - books should be used for good. i'm not saying that they all have to be happy, uplifting stories, or even subjects that will please everyone and offend no one. that would be impossible, and probably really boring. but these books-to-make-a-buck really need to stop. the publishing world has turned into a sort of legal defense fund/bankruptcy-buster for famous people who shouldn't be famous, lamebrains who've racked up lawsuit bills and other mounds of debt living their frivolous lives. some publisher gets a whiff of a seedy, pandering story, hands a wad of cash to the "author" and slaps together some sorry excuse for a book. when will it stop? not any time soon, considering i just checked and OJ's book - which isn't even available for another week-and-a-half, is ranked #24 on amazon.com. why, people? WHY? you are the reason Kevin Federline thinks someone will read his autobiography, don't you realize that? please, make it stop!
the wedding i've swear - tried to resist, i've tried to ignore it, i've tried not to know a single thing about it, but when the first segment of the 7:30 half hour of the Today show features Billy Bush blathering from Rome about Tom and Katie's wedding, you know it's unavoidable. you know there is no escape. so what i would like to know, since this is being shoved down my throat, is why all the hubbub? why are they getting married in what's apparently the paparazzi capital of the world? why not have a simple, small ceremony somewhere remote? or at least some place where there isn't a good chance of your precious baby being permanently blinded by flashbulbs. i say - the bigger the wedding, the shorter the marriage. the more attention you attract, the more hysteria you create, the less time you have to focus on the fact that the whole thing is a big fat sham. the whole thing does have some comedic value, though. apparently, part of the vow that Tom will make is to provide Katie with all the things a girl needs, according to Scientologists: "clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat." i totally did not make that up.
derek jeter so wants me apparently that cad-with-a-glove-of-gold was spotted in LA with Jessica Biel. there was flirting, giggling, shoulder-rubbing [hold on - i
need to barf - OK, better now]. this only interests me because i have been told on a few occasions that i resemble Ms. Biel. (though not from behind, unfortunately.) i don't see it, but hey - at least i don't get Molly Ringwald anymore. anyway, i had been convinced that i was not Jeter's type - none of the winners he's been with for more than two days have looked like me at all, until now. perhaps he's inching a bit nearer to moi via Jessica. one step closer to our chance meeting where he spots me and time stops and he can't believe his good fortune........ no? not so much?trade places with me, mer i admit, i was a little bummed when Katie Couric left Today, and i had my doubts about Meredith Viera at first. but now i think she's great. she's a dork, she's goofy, she has Matt's number completely - and in the last week alone she's been in the Rockettes' Christmas Show kickline and Mary Poppins on Broadway. (if only i'd known that morning news shows were the way to the boards... i would have majored in broadcast journalism instead of print! rats.) anyway, what i'm trying to say is: Katie who?
you must be starving! so this morning i'm reading the Daily News and on page 12 is a rather large photo of Gisele in her skivvies applying lipstick in a mirror because who doesn't need to
see that at eight o'clock in the morning? apparently there was a Victoria's Secret fashion show last night, and the reporter got some choice quotes from the models backstage, one of whom said that as part of her preparation for the show, she went to the gym a lot, "and i tried to cut down on chocolate. it's not that i stopped eating chocolate, but it's that i tried to have half of what i usually have." (in other words, she only ate half a chocolate chip.) oh, the sacrifices one must endure to prance about in one's underpants.OK. i'm done now. onto the weekend...!
mb
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