waiting for my real life to begin

am i jinxing myself here?

i found out this morning that i can't move into my apartment this weekend. my real estate agent actually e-mailed me this morning and said i could move "definitely before January."

huh. that would be fine if i didn't have to clear out of the sublet two days from now.

to distract myself from the lump bobbing around in my throat, i went back to that astrology site to see if any of this was predicted and i had just missed it. because clearly i'm not prepared. but no - my November "forecast" says 2007 has been an amazingly amazing year for me, and this is my breather month before an even more amazingly amazing December.

you know, i have to say, i'm just the teeniest bit skeptical.

ostensibly - on paper - 2007 has not been an amazing year for me. i mean, you look at the facts and you say, "hmm. not a banner year, really." but i'm thinking - hoping? - that it's all going on for a reason. that either all these obstacles and challenges are preparing me for more crap in 2008, or that 2008 is going to be the best freaking year of my life.

i'm rooting for the latter.

all i can say is that i'm glad i went to St. Rita last night. a friend of mine told me about St. Rita a couple summers ago. apparently she's the patron saint of the hopeless and the impossible. i went through all my saints training in grade school (i was more of a St. Elizabeth girl back then) and i haven't been a practicing catholic since, well, grade school. but i am not without faith, not by any means, and so i decided to go visit Rita a few months ago because there didn't seem to be much to lose at that point. there's a St. Rita statue in the back of a church near my old office. i admit i felt a little awkward the first time, kneeling there in the echo-y quiet of the massive church, and more than a little hypocritical (is a person allowed to consult horoscopes and saints with the same seriousness?). but i also felt very calm when i left. peaceful, even.

i've gone back a handful of times since then, and hey - i don't do yoga, i don't meditate, but i pray to St. Rita and it helps. i went last night because i was feeling too anxious and too off-track for my liking. again, i felt calmer afterward and despite the curveballs that keep coming my way, i've kept a level head today.

so i owe some thanks to St. Rita, i guess. and also to Sleepy's, for agreeing to deliver my mattress at a later date... "definitely before January."

mb