bundle of oy

so i had an interesting gynecologist appointment on Friday.

(i wouldn't normally use such a thing as a basis for a blog entry, but it really was interesting, so please bear with me.)

it started out normal enough.

doc: "how are you? any problems?"

me: "nope, all good."

doc: "you still with the same partner?"

me: "...yes...?"

doc: "you've been together...eight years?"

me: [not sure how she knows this from looking in my file, but...] "yep, just about."

doc: "planning to get married?"

me: "er...yes?"

doc: "do you want kids?"

this is around the time i start babbling about my life plans, sort of pulling them out of my rear end, sort of not, and suddenly the doc starts telling me to make sure i'm getting enough folic acid on a daily basis and to watch my tuna fish intake. then she says she wants to do blood work.

"pre-pregnancy tests," she tells me, as if i've given her the impression that i'm in some "pre" pregnancy stage and these tests are imperative. she goes on to list various genetic tests along with general health tests, all of which will tell me just how ready i am to start trying.

this is around the time i realize it ain't no joke. i'm an adult. i'm an adult with a ticking clock, and my gynecologist knows it.

a very nice nurse then drained about 12 gallons of blood from me - i lost track of how many test tubes she filled up - and i was told the results will be back in about a month. the doc handed me a pamphlet entitled Healthy Pregnancy and sent me on my way.

it's safe to say that, on the subway ride back to my office, the overriding thought running through my mind was: holy shit.

it just wasn't the kind of appointment i was expecting to have. on most days i forget how old i am. i'm still waiting, as they say, for my real life to begin. i'm still waiting for that moment when i feel like i actually know what i'm doing. not that i don't have pangs when i see pregnant women walk by on the sidewalk, or when one of my best friends called me a couple weeks ago to let me know she's expecting, or when i hear my cousin Henry giggle. i'm a woman, i have a uterus, it happens.

but my appointment on Friday was just so real.

but it was a weird kind of real because i'm truly not in that phase of life just yet. i left the doctor's office feeling as i were somehow behind, somehow delinquent. that perhaps my doctor thought taking my blood and giving me a pamphlet would be the not-so-subtle nudge i need to get on with things already.

i was in a weird mood the rest of the day, caught somewhere between 'wistful' and 'indignant.' and it just so happened that i reconnected with several high school friends that afternoon (via that glorious invention called Facebook) and i'm not kidding - every single one of them is married with at least one kid, mostly two.

clearly i'm quite the rebel, taking my sweet time to settle down, waiting until the last possible moment to open Megan's Baby Factory. it's probably no surprise to anyone - i was a mini-adult in high school, i'm an overgrown kid in adulthood. but, you know what? i got over it. the weirdness wore off and i remembered how grateful i am to be where i am right now.

i appreciate my doc's concern, and at least now i'll be prepared when the time is right. but i'm really OK with taking a little more time before every shirt i own is stained with spit-up and finding thirty seconds to pee in peace is a miracle.

i just hope my dentist doesn't start talking to me about baby teeth...

mb