there were various contingency plans that day: walking with my lunch bag placed strategically over the newly-extended slit; tying my jacket around my waist whilst passing the look off as a new fashion trend; an emergency Duane Reade run for a pair of tights. in the end, i opted for a trip to the Gap (with my jacket tied around my waist, of course) and bought a new dress (slit-free) and chucked the skirt in a drawer in my desk.
i contemplated returning it and demanding a full refund due to the emotional duress i experienced thanks to the shoddy skirt. but the thing is, it's a really cute skirt. it's the skirt version of sailor pants, with all cute buttons in the front, and a neat lace-up detail on the back yoke. it's not just some basic skirt you'd find at H&M. so, i decided to take it to my lady at the dry cleaners for repair. i asked her to please use heavy duty thread, staples, super glue, whatever means necessary to make sure the slit controlled itself, didn't go expanding on me again.
she nodded like she understood what i meant, and i picked up the fixed skirt with full confidence over the weekend. and i put on the skirt with full confidence this morning. it was a big day, of sorts. i had an interview at 10 o'clock for the job i currently have. (i know - huh? it's protocol for freelancers moving over to permanent positions, blah blah blah.) so of course i wanted to dress the company way. i put on the lovely skirt, with a cute blouse and new pumps and was feeling rather excellent.
about 10 minutes after i returned from my interview, a co-worker who saw me on my way to the elevators called me back to where she was standing. she knew the skirt saga and was chagrined to tell me, "go to the bathroom. check your slit." i reached my hand around to the back of my skirt and felt with horror that it was extending way higher than god meant it to.
of course, i'm still not ready to get rid of it. it's still a damn cute skirt! impractical but cute... and always coming unraveled.
huh. that description sounds a lot like me. holy slit.