my, how time flies

Ten years ago tomorrow I graduated from college.

I can write the words, but I can’t quite wrap my head around the idea. I’ve grown pretty used to the warp speed at which life seems to go these days, but it’s still more than a little crazy to think that it’s been 10 years since I wore that cap and gown, since I filed into the auditorium not to Pomp and Circumstance but to a live jazz band rendition of Take the A Train (which I thought was really, really cool).

Sometime around graduation I wrote to a girl I used to babysit who was getting ready for (and feeling anxious about) her freshman year of college. I wrote a list of things I’d learned about life and myself in college and sent it to her along with a letter. She wrote me a few months later thanking me for the advice—apparently it was helpful.

After a little searching on my hard drive earlier today, I found the list. Various items made me smile and sigh and roll my eyes. I thought, in honor of the 10-year mark, that I’d post it here. Tomorrow I will post a list of things I’ve learned since leaving college. I think I can come up with at least three….

What I Learned in College and Why I’m Smarter Because Of It:

- All about nut grafs and hard leads, heds and deks, and fact versus fiction.
- Even though it might look like chicken, it might not taste like chicken.
- The importance of long talks at 3 a.m.—and when not to talk at all.
- Gossip is fun to listen to, but best not to participate in.
- True friends know when to tell you to shut up and when to let you babble.
- Staring at a phone won’t make it ring.
- Lights and darks should be washed separately but can be dried together.
- Procrastination is unavoidable and should be welcomed with open arms.
- Most people waste office hours ass-kissing.
- Love has uncountable layers.
- Lusting after a professor will keep your attendance way up.
- Obsessions are great diversions but utterly disastrous.
- You can live on only a few paychecks a semester, as long as the IRS is good to you.
- Some kisses can take you places that aren’t on a map.
- E-mail is necessary and cost-effective.
- Phone bills should be paid on time.
- Time goes as fast or as slow as you want it to.
- There are never enough hours in a day.
- Days are fleeting—only moments matter.
- Eating together can be a bonding experience for practically anyone.
- Going to the gym is such a hassle, but the benefits are innumerable.
- The beach is the best place to soothe your soul and clear your head.
- Trust is difficult.
- I will get hurt.
- Getting lost is always an adventure.
- Tequila shots are for use by professionals only.
- No one can be the leader all the time.
- Playgrounds aren’t just for little kids.
- Pushing yourself hurts, but the pain is worth it.
- Dream analysis is a legitimate pastime.
- My alarm clock won’t always go off when I want it to.
- Anyone can learn to love beer.
- I will wake up after a wild party with bruises I can’t explain.
- Being alone once in awhile is inevitable and essential.
- Comfort zones are comfortable and dangerous.
- Mistakes are easy to make. The real challenge comes in learning from them.
- My parents do know everything.
- The majority of learning happens outside the classroom.
- It doesn’t matter if it’s the LIRR or Amtrak—people on trains are invariably weird and fascinating.
- Life will suck one day and be amazing the next. That’s just the way it goes.
- Eating chocolate cake for breakfast is something everyone should experience. But only once.
- Ghost stories are scarier at age 22 than they were at age 12.
- Diners are great places to heal your heart, makes lots of noise and piss off Greek waiters.
- Scooby Doo and The Smurfs will always be an important part of my life.
- Laughing till you cry is incredibly therapeutic.
- Winning Scrabble comes down to plain old luck.
- Surrounding yourself with talented, successful, happy people can only improve your life.
- “Home” is wherever YOU are at the moment.
- A fantasy world is a fun place to visit, but not a place to reside permanently.
- Professors can be great friends and will sometimes rely on you for advice.
- Newspapers aren’t boring and TV news is theatrical.
- A person can be jaded, insecure and sensitive all at once.
- Everyone perceives you in a different way.
- Everyone is in your life for a reason.
- When you don’t want it, you’ll get it.
- When you’re not looking, it’ll happen
- Without an alternative, a person can survive on pizza and Diet Coke alone.
- Don’t wish the semesters away; as soon as you’re out, you’ll want to get right back in.
- Anything is possible.

mb