something old, something new, something borrowed, something on youtube

wow. it's a slow-ish workday so i was just poking around on nymag.com and came upon their posting of the ubiquitous "Forever" wedding dance video that exploded last week. if you're reading this, it means you know how to work the internet, which means there's no way you haven't seen that video. but just in case here you go.

i first saw the clip on the Today show last Friday while i was at the gym. it made me smile, mostly because i applaud any and all wedding originality. by the time you're my age (and, presumably, older than my age) you've been to dozens of weddings. it's only the truly special ones that stand out in your mind weeks, months, years later. otherwise they all sort of jumble together into one big blurry memory of un-mic-ed vows, pasta bars and bouquet tosses set to a cacophonous soundtrack of "Canon in D" and "Last Dance."

so, anyway, even though i rolled my eyes and groaned when Matt Lauer announced that the bridal party from the Minnesota wedding would be on the show the next morning to recreate the dance (hold on a sec while i pound my head into this wall here), i was happy for the couple for doing things their way and finding themselves in the middle of a—so far, anyway—warm and fuzzy media storm.

it was that same morning that New York Magazine posted the clip on their site, and the comments quickly rolled in. they're still rolling in, actually. and while more than half of them are happy, appreciative, positive remarks, there are quite a few that are particularly biting, mean and outright ridiculous. someone, for example, commented on the couple's obvious lack of understanding about the gravity of marriage. someone else said they stole the idea of dancing down the aisle from West African tribes. other people criticized the lack of creativity on the couple's part, citing the "Baby Got Back" couple from a couple years ago.

i have to say: reading those comments made me think that people, in general, sort of suck.

yes, it's the beauty of free speech and part of the wonder of the internet—people get to comment on anything and everything and many of them are jerks and/or write things just to rile people up.

still.

maybe i'm miffed because i had an idea for my own wedding recently, one that didn't exactly start with the "Forever" video but definitely got a boost from it. it's one of those things that my bridesmaids are into but the groom is very wary of (because, you know, he's a guy and genetically has a lower threshold for making a total ass out of himself—weird) and so it'll either take time and persuasion to make it happen, or it'll be an idea that gets crossed off the list because marriage is all about compromise, right?

anyway, my whole reason for wanting to follow through with said creative idea (which i'm keeping secret just in case it does come to fruition) is because i think marriages are highly personal and unique—no two are the same, not everything works for everyone, and no one should judge another's because there's no "right" way to be married. i think the same is true of weddings. there should be no judgment of a couple's choices about how they get married. if you're invited, whether it's in a barn or on a beach or at a bar or in the freaking Sistine Chapel—just go, be happy for the couple, have fun and get on with your life. let the bride and groom express their love and devotion and promise to be each other's partner forever however they want. traditional down to the wording on the response card? lovely. eloping to city hall in your jeans? brilliant. dancing down the aisle to "Brick House"? go for it.

i guess if i do wind up going through with my idea, there's a chance someone i know will post it on YouTube. (if the Today show calls, i am not picking up. mark my words.) and maybe the same lovely readers at nymag.com will have similar caustic comments about my wedding and marriage. and i'll feel sorry for them, because clearly they can't recognize joy and happiness even when it's dancing right in front of their faces.

mb