is she happy?
i saw a quote from Beyoncé Knowles the other day in the elevator (which is equipped with a screen that broadcasts news, odd facts, weather reports and lots of ads so that riders have something to look at other than each other). in the quote, Beyoncé said:
"It's definitely time to take a break, to recharge my batteries. I'd like to take about six months and not go into the studio. I need to just live life, to be inspired by things again. I'm going to do random things. I want to go to restaurants, maybe take a class and see some movies and Broadway shows."
and i thought, what i wouldn’t give for six months off to recharge my batteries. nearly everyone i know could stand an extended break to gain some perspective, figure things out, rest, enjoy life, get inspired.
because i really think that’s part of the problem, why people aren’t happier than they are, why certain things never get accomplished. most of us are so mired in the day-to-day it leaves little time to look at the big picture, to think about what we really want, what actually matters. to make anything truly amazing happen.
Michael and i watched part one of that PBS series, “This Emotional Life” on DVR last week. it was so interesting and sparked a long conversation between us about the meaning of life (just the thing you want to discuss right before bed). and i haven’t really been able to stop thinking about it since.
on one hand, i don’t think there really is significant meaning to life. i think it’s pretty arbitrary. We’re born, we’re here, we die. the end. and if that’s truly the case, what we do with our time here isn’t, in the grand scheme of things, all that important. Meaning—if we don’t have the best job, awesomest clothes, biggest house, coolest gadgets, nicest hair, tightest glutes, etc—who cares?
On the other hand, since we are all here, for whatever reason, we should try to make the most of it. Meaning—if we don’t have the best job, awesomest clothes, biggest house, coolest gadgets, nicest hair, tightest glutes, etc—who cares? That’s not making the most of it, in my book. That’s distracting yourself from the real things.
i was in a work meeting yesterday and someone mentioned an article they’d read about all those job-interview clichés. for example: a potential employer sizes you up within the first 10 seconds of laying eyes on you and you spend the rest of the time either living up or living down to their assumptions about you. stuff like that. the discussion centered around how useful and great such clichés are. and it took a lot of self-control for me not to say, “that’s such bullshit!” why are we taught as kids not to judge a book by its cover if, 20 years later, that's exactly what we'll be trained to do?
this kind of stuff gets me fired up. people are so backwards! and it's no wonder. we're faced with a constant barrage of mixed messages sent by people, companies, organizations only concerned with themselves: here, you want a house? let us pay for all of it and more and then jack your mortgage rate up so high you lose everything, not the least of which is your self respect. take time to breathe and practice yoga or you'll die from stress—but only after you nail that promotion at work. do NOT accrue credit card debt but your kids MUST have that video game system! drink coffee—don't drink coffee! have a glass of wine—no! no wine! eggs are good—eggs are bad! no carbs—all carbs! sugar makes you fat, but Splenda gives you cancer. take this anti-depressant so you stop making everyone around you miserable but call your doctor if your face swells up or you grow an extra hand or your erection lasts longer than 24 hours.
COME. ON.
if i could have one superpower in the world, it would be the ability to give everyone perspective—permission to loosen their grip on the steering wheel just a bit. i'd tap that gal on the head with my magic wand and say, “hey, no one cares what kind of jeans you’re wearing. how about you go volunteer some time at an animal shelter?” then I'd tap that fella at his desk and say, “hey, you, you’re on your eighty-fifth hour of work this week—how about making some time for your kids?” i'd tap everyone in Penn Station and say, "stop shoving. there are seats on the train for everyone."
the first person i'd tap, though, would be myself. don’t want to sound all high-and-mighty here. because, trust me, i do not have it figured all out in the least. in fact, i think it’s nearly impossible to figure it out. that's my point, that's the source of my despair. none of us can take six months off (except for you, Beyoncé, i know you're reading) because we need those hours at work to keep our jobs to keep our paychecks coming to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads. the harder we work, the more money we have but the less time we have to enjoy it. the less we feel like we're living.
and i just feel panicked when my brain goes like this. even Beyoncé—who sings and dances and lives with Jay-Z for a living—gets burned out, feels uninspired, isn't completely fulfilled. what the hell does that mean for the rest of us?
i think it means that the American Dream needs some serious tweaking.
mbm (<--- the next unibomber?)
ps: i meant to add to my Core Fusion entry that though the studio was lovely and well-lit, there was an odd smell the entire time. it seemed like perhaps someone wasn't wearing deodorant but i seriously doubted any of those women would forget something like deodorant. about halfway through i realized it was me—my pants smelled like onions, because i'd worn them when i was making chili on Saturday. just another layer of horror to my Core Fusion experience.
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