don't leave me!

OK, i have to admit something embarrassing. i'm experiencing a weird post-wedding side effect and i'm sharing it here in the hopes that someone else has experienced it too.

i miss my people.

by "people" i mean vendors, though i hate using the word "vendors." it sounds so impersonal, so business-y. because my vendors were all really awesome—more like friends, in my delusional mind. so they're my people. and it's weird to me—you choose these individuals to play a huge part in pretty much the most amazing and important day of your life. there's months of planning, tons of consulting and e-mails and meetings, then the big day and afterward... nothing.

i should have seen this coming. i have two MO's when it comes to people: either i hang back and you never get to know me or i get attached to you and you'll never be rid of me. years could go by when we won't communicate and then i'll come across your e-mail address or phone number and wham—i'm all back in your life, wanting to catch up, hang out, be friends again. if i like you, i have the hardest time letting go. it will take me months to get over Matsui being an Angel now. maybe longer.

anyway, for some reason—almost two months later—it's hitting me that i'm done working with people i came to like very much. and i have separation anxiety.

the other day i was on the subway and passed the 34th Street/Herald Square stop and thought of Leslie, our dance instructor, because we always got off at that stop for our lessons, and i sort of missed her and the whole dance lesson thing. yeah, it was exhausting and sometimes stressful, but we all pretty much laughed the entire time and, hey, i know how to foxtrot now.

also, i'm plotting a trip to see our band when they play a gig at a bar in Philly in February. why? well, aside from the fact that they're awesome, i bonded a little with our bandleader, Nick, over the Yankees. that's sort of a bond for life.  

and then—then!—i got an e-mail this morning from my photographer saying he was putting the discs with our photos in the mail. and i felt a little sad. our photographer is awesome—cool guy, amazing talent, we all clicked right away (no pun intended). now the only other thing left to do is to choose images for the album, which we basically do on our own. no more hanging out with Tyler? sad!

basically, i want to add these people to my circle of friends so we can grab a drink whenever i'm in town. is that so crazy?

yeah, don't answer that.

i better resolve my attachment issues before we seriously start looking for houses. otherwise, those poor real estate agents will have no idea what hit them.

mbm


photo by Tyler Boye