timeless

a few weeks ago a friend broke up with me. that's the best way i can explain it, since that's exactly what it felt like. i was told that i wasn't making enough time for the friendship, that i didn't care enough and that it was senseless to continue being friends. 

there wasn't a whole lot i could say in return, since, for me, friendships aren't so black-and-white. i have friends i've rarely been out of touch with and i also have friends with whom i lost contact for years. i have friends i talk to nearly every day; others i connect with once or twice a year. and it all seems to work. people grow up, their lives change, their jobs get busy, they have marriages and babies and families to attend to. my general friendship philosophy is, "hey, i'll always be here. you know i love you, i know you love me. we'll do what we can and it'll all be good."

anyway, i was thinking about this break-up on friday night. a bunch of friends i first met in grade school (or earlier) were at my parents' house for a last-minute get-together. until last year we hadn't seen each other for, on average, 15 years. and yet there we were, sitting around the table with drinks and food and fairly constant laughter. we definitely indulged in some gossip about erstwhile classmates and told stories from our shared ancient history. but we also talked about life now—jobs, married life, getting pregnant, raising kids. 

later, those of us who were left moved to the hot tub. some of these people were in my kindergarten class. some were in the same cap and gown as i was on our high school graduation day. some were at my eighth birthday party, some were at the same senior prom after-party. as we sat and sweated and kept talking, the thought that kept running through my head was: how cool. i think it's awesome when people can come together easily—no worries, no expectations, no agendas. you just get together because you've known each other for a long time and you know you'll enjoy yourselves. it's as fun and uncomplicated as that.

and isn't that how all friendships should be? 

mbm